People always ask me if my tits are real. Usually I try to avoid it, because I don't want to lie about it, right, so I tell them they're real big or real heavy. Real expensive, I love that line. If people really bother me about it, like asking how many operations I've had, I'll say, "Well, possibly, if I ever did, maybe three."
I go on talk shows. I did this one stupid show, the Richard Bey Show. It was girls with big boobs versus girls with little boobs. Obviously, I was representing the girls with big boobs. When the girls with big tits got to the show, Richard Bey told us to fight with the girls with little boobs. I was supposed to try to degrade the girls with little boobs, or something like that. I wouldn't go for it; I thought it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. I wasn't acting. I just said no. It's just a little gimmicky show. I guess he thought we would do anything. When we got on the show the other girls were cocky, because they were getting paid to be cocky. I was like, "Hey, little tits, big tits, what's the difference? I don't even know why guys like big tits."
I was on some talkshow, Jackie Mason it was, talking about operations, and some famous newscaster was sitting next to me on the panel. What the hell was his name? Anyway, he just kept saying to me, "Get Jackie to look over here and talk about your tits."
I can tell you that when I'm on a talk show about taking your clothes off for a living, the one thing nobody ever says to stick up for this business is that if you exploit anything in life, either you're exploiting your mind, or you're exploiting your body, because that's all we're made of, mind and body. Why is exploiting the body such a horrible thing, while exploiting the mind is good? I'm not exploiting myself. I'm using what I have or what I paid for; a massage therapist uses his fingers. I'm a physical person, not a mental person. Nobody ever brings that up on a talk show, and that always pisses me off.
I was on Howard Stern, too. Either your agent calls you and tells you that the talk show is looking for somebody to go on the show, or you contact the station if you know which subject they're doing, if has something to do with you. They only pay you to do that if you're endorsing a product. When I went on Howard Stern's show, I was endorsing Snapple beverage. And British Knight sneakers.
I've been featuring about eight years. I was a house dancer in NJ, Pennsylvania, NYC. I didn't like it that much because I don't like to sit down and have meaningless conversations with people that I don't know. That used to get on my nerves. I like to be social, but I can't stand to sit down and have a personal conversation with someone I don't know on a day to day basis. It's like a waste of psychic energy. This guy kept bothering me yesterday; he kept telling me how he was making all this money this year and if he only had a girl like me to take care of, his life would be complete. He told me like ten times. I tell you, I just wanted to vomit. I finally said to him, "Listen, I really appreciate everything you're saying. That's sweet of you, but I just am not impressed by money at all. I have my own money!"
All these people were telling me that I needed to go on the Internet. I didn't know anything about it. You know, I was a really bad student in school and I didn't want to learn about computers. I heard it so many times-"The wave of the future!"-so I finally looked into it. I hired somebody to develop a web site for me, and now I love it. For being the horrible student that I was, I love the computer. It was extremely frustrating at first, but I love it now. I have fans that email. I got 110 emails in the past few days. I get them from all over, including from Norway and all. When it's nasty email about how they want to fuck me, I have my beautiful trash button. Sometimes when somebody says something stupid to me in the bar I just want to go, "Boop!" and hit that trash button. Sometimes they'll ask me dumb stuff, like if I'm married or if I've ever made a video. One guy pissed me off. He said, "Was this one of your dreams as a little girls, to do this with yourself?" I answered him. I said, "Dreams change all the time. I'm a big girl now, very happy in my life, and I have new goals that I'm trying to reach." You know what else I hate, is when somebody tells me that they can't wait till I get out of this business, like my mom-whatever you do for great money, why would you quit? Would you say that to a surgeon?
When I get up on stage, since my boobs are so big-they're about as big as a person's head-I take a hat and put it on my boobs. It's usually a baseball hat, but if it's a cowboy hat, it needs to be a ten-gallon! I also put the hat on the top of my boob and put glasses on it so it looks like the nipple is a nose, and hold up a beer like I'm giving my boob a drink. Or I'll put a beer bottle in between my boobs and feed them the beer without using my hands. Or I'll put a beer bottle underneath my boob to the side, and then I'm a little teapot.
Outside of the clubs, people can be very ignorant. They see something and they get rude. One time this man with a deformed nose was looking straight at me, and I was thinking how bad he must feel to have everybody looking at him. I just said hello to him. On the West Coast, like in Seattle, I swear to god, they do not stare at my tits. OF course, I usually have a raincoat on. But people can be so rude-they'll look right at you and start laughing. Most of the time I blow it off because I realize that I did this to myself and yes they're huge. But that doesn't make them nice people. I guess sexuality is so fucking weird to people, it may be how they're brought up. If I say anything to them, it just brings more bad energy. I don't want to go around thinking about what they said to me and then what I said to them and blah, blah, fucking blah.
I think I have an addiction to attention. I love to make people laugh and make them happy. It gives me a kind of fulfillment. I think this is a totally good business. Nudity is good. It's totally natural, it's good for you, dancing is a great thing, making people happy; this whole business is a wonderful fucking business and it gets a bad rap that I can't understand. I do understand when it's because of religion, but I believe that sexuality is one of the strongest things that we have, and religion figured, well, hey, to control people, sex would be a great thing. Sex has been totally misconstrued, and associating nudity with unhealthy sexuality is a bad thing.
I plan on doing this until I get enough money to make back the money that my husband's taken from me. That's a joke, but it's not a joke! It's not just about money, though. Being on the road is a lot of work, and I just want to get into a comfort zone and have dinner with my friends and take my yoga class. I always tell girls who want to start doing this that whatever they do, they should do it from their heart and not for the money. I believe that whatever you do from your heart will be what works for you in all other ways.